the drought is over

she leans out the window and yells

vagina

and tourists look befuddled
they don’t get the joke.

or

she leans out the open window of
the white 88 Pontiac sunbird with
the rusted out floor and
long scentless Scooby
handing from the rear-viewer and yells

vagina

and nobody understands her struggle
against the erect force of strong men
they cant comprehend her
vagina.
puzzled
by the outburst.
who is this drunk-slut?
but her
vagina
is so easy
simply reclaimed her own
to scream at
and announce
her vagin
her vagana
her vulge

and there she goes across a strong bridge
and why not lean out the window
and yell vagin like a game.

b.

and another thing
as she strips to her suit
and plashes in the calm
water.
it’s hers anyway.

Let's consider

a serious scrutiny of this point
a reconstruction
surgery to restate how you will use, how you will move
to most this isn't important
but to you its pivotol, classical mythical redirection of yourself.

how does one reconstruct an identity? I've spent the past year or two constructing myself, trying whining and buying my way into who i am, my voice, my space. where does a girl belong. and i had it. but since the unfortunate happenings earlier this year I've been in crisis.

i only just realized why, and its shocks me that it didn't occur sooner. That moment of pain, twisting a tearing out my knee tore a whole in my identity.

of course your in crisis, she announces, how can you not be when your foundation has been deconstructed like that. its like derrida came with his meaningless chainsaw and, with the help of barth, chopped you in two, or three or seven.

But it didn't stop with that simple little ligament, they attacked everything, my hands, my bbrothers even my cat...she's suddenly friendly...so how can i even be the girl with the homosidal psycho jungle cat when my jungle cat is as friendly as a french lamb (and what does that mean anyway)

-break-

21st birthday-rough notes

maybe when im drunk im talking crazy, but just because im drunk doesn't mean i speak crazy!

i always do what? write at the bar? so? im the one with the pen!
And is there some significance to their expression of a violet moment! what does that mean? I dunno jibberish boy.

THE WORST GAME OF POOL I EVER PLAYED
1 mixed drink minus a fly
2 mint things
2 malibu and oj
2 mixed drinks
4 carbombs
5 tequilla Rose (i think it may have been more)
2 doctor peppers
1 flamming samabuca
1 french whore
1 lemon drop
1 rugby song ended = down in 2
1 glass of H2O down my skirt

4 missed shots in a row

"ice caked heads in my mouth..."
My blood alcohol is higher than my GPA

"Roo's legal to drunk everywhere" - monique
Questions not to ask:
are you an alien?

I remember spinning in circles and shooting the moon, Fuck them i say, they never take me seriously!

I love Corona hat, he's a jerk. Doesn't believe in my name! He smoke du Maurier and thinks he's cool but thats fine cause i watch people leave and i still fall for the jerk in the corona hat. What did i sit for. i dunno. sailing i think. its not that ive lost me jacket, i just think dear dirty that he's magnificent.

still this is weird.
"I think you am an alcoholic"


--- and its only 9:15 in the morning...class time :)